number twenty three: genuine compliments

so in 1999 i was 12. and baz luhrman realeased a song called 'Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen).'

my life was changed. and upon hearing it, it instantly become my anthem. i've spent five years as a volunteer at leadership camp, and there was a period of time where i would wake the girls up in my cabin with this song. because i find it to be so inspirational from start to finish. it's like the entire song is an instructional manual that is so relevant for our generation.

i'm listening to it right now and it's taking all my willpower not to just start quoting it here.

sucks for you all i have no will power:
"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine."

"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday."

"Sing"

"Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours."

"Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s."

"Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young."


those are a couple of my favorites. but really, listen. it's all solid gold.



but so the real point of this post. sorry, it's late and i can't sleep so this is long and rambling.

today Elizabeth Taylor died. hollywood mourned, and the the fight to cure AIDS lost a champion of the cause. and upon hearing the news, i was instantly brought back to this moment 6 or 7 years ago.

i was working the front desk at my job and this patient came in and we were making the standard small talk. thinking back, i can't even remember which patient it was. but so in the middle of the standard small talk, this patient looks at me and says "you've got eyes just like Elizabeth Taylor."

isn't it funny how certain compliments you receive simply resonate for years to come? they stick with you, and even in your darkest moments you can recall them. while your world is crashing, there's at least this one golden nugget of verbal love. this compliment, which was maybe a meaningless observation to the person saying it, sticks. and sticks right.

there's this point in the Luhrman song where he instructs: "Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how."

because of having this pointed out to me in his song, i've always tried to hold onto the good and get rid of the bad. i can remember specific compliments. the liz taylor one. my first boyfriend complimenting my dancing. my most recent boyfriend complimenting my wit. a friend complimenting my writing.

and i can only remember one specific insult.

i think i've managed one part of Luhrman's manual. though how, i can't tell you.

but since he's all about giving advice, i'll add to what he had to say. compliments are important, and maybe in order for them to stick tighter than the insults we need to hear them often. which means maybe we need to give them more often.

a genuine compliment can clearly last a lifetime. i'll probably always hold onto my liz taylor compliment. start giving some verbal love in the form of a compliment. it could change a life.



but trust me on the sunscreen.