number eight: left over thai food

first of all, when googling "fear of..." the first thing that comes up is "fear of long words." i want to meet a person who is afraid of long words and shout things like "antidisestablishmentarianism" at them. but alas, this post isn't about long words (although don't doubt that a later post won't be).

i was trying to find the correct name for fear of going on dates, but google failed me. and this google search wouldn't have been completely accurate in the first place- i'm not afraid of dates, i just like to avoid them at all cost. don't believe me? i've canceled just about every date in the past two years i've been asked out on. it's become a running joke for all my friends. typically the surest way to get me to want to spend time with you is NOT to ask me out. sorry men, i'm just another lady whose rationale is anything but rational.

against my better judgment, and with the coercion of kara "smith," i signed up for online dating. for someone who hates dating, this really doesn't make any sense. however i will say i love the conversation the site provides. and who doesn't like being flirted with? the site i'm using is okcupid.com, because it's free. if you're considering trying out a site, i highly recommend it. i was semi-freaked out to try it (worried i was going to be sent messages by countless creepers) but overall it's been a pleasant experience. but like i said before, generally when someone requests a date or drinks, i stop responding to them. just because it seems like the most rational (read: irrational) thing to do.

since the new year turned over, i've been feeling more like myself but less like myself at the same time. confusing? tell me about it. what i mean is this- i feel more like i did when i was thirsty for something interesting. something new. and less like myself in that i don't feel as committed to ruitine and in fact want the oppostite of that. so the other night, i actually went out on a date.

i won't go into details, but for my AVID readers just know it was nice. any date that results in left over thai food is a good one in my book. any date that results in left over thai AND a few days worth of ridiculously fun texting results in a second date too apparently. this post wasn't about what i'd intended to go into, but i think that's maybe the point. i'm enjoying all the things that are coming my way. discovering that if i approach life ready to face whatever fears or apprehensions i have, at least if nothing else in the end i'm left with fantastic left overs.