number 30: christmas

it's official, christmas is over. presents opened, fridge stocked full of leftovers, most relatives have fled.

i can already tell this post is going to be a trite, cliche bit of rambles. i have no idea where i'm going with it.

growing up, the holidays meant something. everyone would meet up at my dad's parent's house and we'd hang out all day. playing card games, eating (please note no one drank... how i came from this gene pool is sort of beyond me), opening gifts, and napping whenever the baggy brown velvet couch became available. typical middle class subdued happiness.

as i've gotten older, that's stopped. my grandparents spend their winters in the desert, and no one bothers to come together. except my uncle, who has become my favorite part of the holidays. i interviewed him a while ago for a paper on Vietnam (he's a Vet), and he just fascinates me. he's also impossible to shop for since he only purchases goods made in the US. you're probably thinking he's a toby keith fan who wears denim cut offs and owns a shotgun. he's not. he's just a man with principles, and men like that are rare and inspire me to stand for something.

but back to my point. the holidays aren't the same big, happy time they used to be. i no longer follow my grandpa around while he holds his video camera (which was the size of a large mailbox) trying to get him to record me for the 34th time singing Reba McEntire.

yeah, i used to want to be a country singer. as if any of you reading needed any more ammunition to make fun of me with.

while they're not what they used to be, i appreciate them for what they are and what i know they someday will be.

at the moment, they're an excuse to veg-the-eff-out. i'm not one of those people who gets dressed up for christmas or christmas eve. leggings, my red SU shirt, an ugly oversized sweatshirt, greasy hair, and no make up. there are photos from the past three years of me in that exact uniform while opening gifts. i like the idea of being low key for christmas, considering that basically every other holiday i celebrate involves a lot of effort(read: a lot of make up and booze). christmas, it's back to basics. naps are encouraged. and i have a thing for naps.

i also like to think about how i want christmas to look like in years to come. i really have no idea where i'll be a year from now. i could still be single or i could have a man. i've spent one holiday with a serious boyfriend, and he gave me luggage. yes, not only did he give me emotional baggage but literal as well. i've learned from single and attached holidays which i prefer. baggage aside, i like sharing the holidays with someone i'm in over my head in love with. so i hope, as much as i HATE to admit this, that next christmas i start to make new holiday traditions with a male companion. but i hope this hypothetical manfriend will be okay with my christmas uniform, that part of today's christmas is as mandatory as not getting me luggage for a holiday ever again.